


Love, Hate and Pain

by AnaExpert



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: The Animated Series
Genre: Cheating, Drama, F/M, Multi, Multiple Partners, Revenge, Revenge Sex, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-18 09:13:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13678701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnaExpert/pseuds/AnaExpert
Summary: Darkfic. Story is loosely set on the 90's TV show X-Men universe. I'm playing wildly with the characters. We'll see what happened after Rogue controls her powers and is finally able to touch. Good girl gone bad?Angst/drama MATURE





	1. Chapter 1

Hate, Love and Pain

Disclaimer: When I wrote this story, I wanted to have a laugh and play with the characters. Content is mature and Rogue is a bit slutty. If you're not comfortable with that, sorry, but just don't read it. I have first published it in Portuguese, got lots of positive reviews (which made me want to translate it) but some people complained about how Rogue is not like that blah blah blah. I just want to say beforehand I KNOW! I have two other romantic and sweet stories if you want to read something like that, but this time, I just wanted to do something quirky and different. Also, I won't be writing their southern accent. Forgive me, I just wouldn't know how to do it. Hope you enjoy it!

It was about 3 am when I heard the knock on my door. It didn't startle me for I knew who it was. It happened almost every night and If I didn't find myself suffering from such low self-esteem, if I had a little love for what's left of me, I wouldn't have opened the door. But, hey, that's not me. I have no shame to admit that the slightest bit of dignity I still have evaporates into thin air when she's near me. How the fuck can I love her more than I love myself? Well, that is if I do love myself at all…

"Hello, ma belle. It's a bit late for showing up, don't you think? You don't look too good."

" Oh come on, sugar. I hope you're not going to give me a hard time at this early hour. Besides, I thought you'd appreciate me coming here. I know you don't like to sleep by yourself, now do you?"

"Chére, I appreciate you at any time of the day and night. Under any circumstances… " – Now why did I have to say that? Have I not made a fool of myself enough times? I'm always handing my heart to her and watching her stomp all over it. Anyways, she most probably won't remember any of it tomorrow morning.

"I know you do, honey."

Looking as sleazy as she could possibly look, she gave me her drunk smile and cupped my face in her hands and gave me a peck. Then I felt her velvety hands travel their way to find my hair, she played with it for a while. I just stood there, paralyzed, not knowing what to do or say, succumbing to her wishes and commands. As I thought about my own idiotic ways, she kissed me hard and took me someplace else. Heaven, hell, I don't know. A fucking good place to be as far as I can tell. How could I say 'no'? When my body is over hers, under hers, behind hers, in hers, the whole of the world ceases to exist. She's the only thing that makes sense to me.

This vagabond heart of mine who's mistreated some many ladies before is at her mercy. I'm finally paying all the bad that I've done at the highest interest rate possible. I'm sure I must deserve all of this. So I don't complain, I just take the bash.

Next thing I know, she's lying naked on my bed. I walk towards her side of the bed and look down at her, giving her the best disapproving look I can manage. Sensing my hesitation, she sits up, grabs me by the legs and pushes me down to the bed. As she undressed me rather violently, I could see her eyes sparkled. I give up resisting her, there's absolutely no point in doing so. We kiss passionately. Then all of sudden she whispers in my ear: "Remy, I love you!"

We made love. I mean, I made love to her. She had sex. I made sweet love to the woman I love. Possibly the one and only I have ever loved. I know, she says she loves me. But I also know she sleeps with my friends.

Ever since Rogue gained control over her powers she became a whole different person. Like a child who's just got the most fantastic toy ever and won't let it go for half a second, her brand new sexual life is all she thinks and cares about. I know she still has all the personas and voices in her head, and surely that is and has always been an issue for her, but now she's found her way of escaping all of that, she can't tell when enough is enough. She doesn't know how to handle her newly found sexuality. She goes out every night, drinks too much, does things she should regret but doesn't and to top it all, she doesn't even remember any of it in the morning.

Still, I believe I'm the only one who understands her. Maybe that's why I'm the only one she loves, that is, if she does love me as she says. The other guys just want to have a go with her, fuck a pretty chick with an appetite. I'm no idiot. I know she uses and abuses me. I know she's playing with me. I'm her toy, and the sad thing is that I like it. I like being abused.

I like to be the one she seeks at the end of the night. I like to be the one who sleeps by her side and wakes to a gorgeous sleeping princess. She looks like the innocent girl I used to know when she's asleep. I know I should stick up for myself and speak my mind. Let her know how I feel, how I hate it that is unfaithful. But I don't have the strength, or… the balls to do that… for now. Maybe one day. Or maybe one day she'll realize I'm her one and only man and that I should be treated better. Maybe.

When we are done with it, she stands up and walks drunkenly out of bed, goes through my pockets until she finds a pack of cigarettes. Then she goes back to bed, sits by my side and starts smoking while staring at my naked body. Examining every inch of me, it feels as if she's undressing my soul now. A smirk. What the hell is she thinking, I wonder.

Remy, you are fucking delicious, do you know that?

And you are fucking selfish. You get a cigarette for yourself and it doesn't even occur to you that I might want one?

Sorry, sugar. – She stands me and fetches me one. I take the chance to take a good look at her ass. Her beautiful long hair, her curls just above that ass… It drives me crazy. Then a sudden rush of courage slaps me in the face:

Where were you before you came here? Who were you with?

Do you really want to know, sugar? Do you want me to tell you the truth? I don't think you do… I wonder why you still ask those questions. – she spoke in a thin voice. Almost a whisper.

Were you with Scott again? Damn, the guy is married. What you guys are doing is outrageous. I feel for Jean, poor thing. – and for myself, I thought as I said it.

I wasn't with Scott tonight if that means so much to you. I went dancing, I wanted to have fun and that was all. Then you know how it is at night, you meet people… but do you really want to know where my mouth's been tonight? I'm sure you don't. Why would you?

Never mind. Forget what I said. Let's just kiss and make up. I want to sleep, we'll have a tough day ahead of us tomorrow.

Well, that's more like it, sugar. But you sure you wanna sleep? That's not my Remy, my Remy would never ever sleep when he could have some fun. – And she was right.


	2. Chapter 2

More of Gambits' thoughts. I hope you all like it, and please, please review.

* 

I woke up alone this time. I know she slept here with me but must've taken off early. Or maybe she was here watching me sleep and never did sleep herself. I'll never know. I never do. I was a little late so took a quick shower and headed down as fast as I could. Got to the kitchen only to find her sitting at the table, staring down at a… toast! Unaware of my presence, she spread strawberry jam on her toast with the same attention one would dedicate to dismantling a bomb, so immersed in doing it she was. When she saw me or smelled me, she lifted up her head with a tilt and let the knife slip through her fingers, with her other hand she caught it mid-air. Her fingers were now covered in jam.

\- Morning, darling. – she said with a sweet smile. It reminded me of my sweetheart from times past. Before she gained control of her powers and lost control of all the rest.

\- Bonjour, chér.

Instead of reaching for a napkin and cleaning her sticky fingers, she licked each of her fingers, one by one, slowly and provocatively. She seemed to do this distractedly, not aware of Scott's and Logan's hungry staring. Fils de pute those two.

\- Here, chére. Let me help you out. – And like a father would, I reached out for a napkin, then grabbed her hands, which she offered me without a word, and cleaned them, at the same time looking angrily at Scott and Logan. They must've noticed because they looked away instantaneously.

Jean was also there and that adds a whole new level of tension to the whole scene. She must know, right? We are her telepathic powers and everything. I'm glad I'm not in her shoes, at least I can pretend because I can't 'hear' what they are thinking when they're at it.

I zoom out and let my thoughts run wild. If we think about, all of us kiss indirectly. I kiss Rogue who kisses Scott who kisses Jean. As far as I know, even Logan could be in this love triangle, I mean, square. How the fuck did that happen to us all? A few months ago, before they came back from that mission in Egypt which I was not a part of, things looked nothing like that.

Later, in the danger room, she was no longer the woman who had just said she loved me, she was having her fun by teasing Scott. Right. Under. My. Fucking. Nose.

\- Rogue, would you stop that? Do you not notice what you're doing or is it just deliberated? You know you drive me crazy, don't you? There's no need to do this when Jean and Gambit are around.

And that was when a card of mine found him. Ooopsy.

\- Darling, how could you not see an attack coming? Have you lost your concentration? – she said with sarcasm. She looked at me, blinked and laughed at him. Or was she laughing at me? Probably at us both.

Scott down, out of order for their afternoon fooling around, I know she'll probably use me as plan B. And I, sucker that I am, will gladly accept to be used.

A confirmation of my earlier thoughts comes soon enough, she invades my shower after training. She was so horny she came into the shower, clothes and all. Her arms enveloped me from behind, she nibbled my right ear and whispered "Hello Cajun!" I smirked, at that. Her hands then started traveling south stopping where she could play and make me moan with pleasure and desire for her. She stopped. I woke up from the trance she had put me in. I slowly opened my eyes only to find her facing me now showing the biggest smile and it made me feel like a complete fool. She gave me a kiss, then went down on me. She was so good at that. It was a matter of minutes until I lost any self-control, ripped her clothes off, and pressed her body against the wall. Howling with pleasure she made me sure I was giving her pleasure as no one else does. I'm most definitely sure about this one thing. No one does it to her like I do.

Her moaning, screaming and sighing reminded me of our first time together, her first time ever. She could have had sex with anyone in that mission if she was so desperate to know how it was like, but she didn't. She came home to me, and I expected that we were a couple already, a couple that didn't touch but a couple nevertheless. It was only natural that she wanted to give me the honor of being her first one. That must mean something, right? At that time, there was no doubt in my mind that I would be her only one forever and a day. However, when I see the looks she gives other men when we go out, I'm sure that whatever she felt for me no longer exists.

Before I was the one who did that. I was that guy who flirted with other women, I couldn't resist. It was easy, I could win any chick just by staring the right way at her. And it inflated my ego, who doesn't like it when the hottest girl in the room is staring back at you, wanting you, fucking you… so I did it even though I thought I was completely in love with Anna Marie. It was just for fun and she couldn't give me what the other ladies could, so…

Maybe, all this time loving me, she turned into a female version of me as soon as she got the chance. Perhaps she hates me for all that I did and is trying to punish me. But I don't think she knew, did she? Well, when she kisses me that way, she can't be trying to make me suffer, can she?

I should be strong and end this shit. Say 'no' to her. No, I don't want this banging in the shower. No, I don't want you creeping into my bed late at night. No, I don't want to be your second option. But hey, I'm a fool and I just don't have the inner strength to do that. Never knew I had this talent for being the betrayed guy.

\- Chére, where you going in such a hurry? We've just finished and you're off? Why don't we have lunch together or something?

\- Thanks, sugar, but no, thanks.

\- Just can't, darling. I have to go upstairs, change into something better than this wet uniform and take off. I have pole dancing classes at one. Don't give me that face. I'm serious, paid for them upfront already.

\- Will you show me what you've learned later tonight? – when I hear myself say the things I do, I feel so ridiculous… yes, she will please me, me and the whole of New York.

\- Sugar, why do you think I'm taking these lessons? Of course, you'll see the first to see me dance. – she blinked at me.

\- I wish I were the only one to see you dance. – Well done, man! Finally took the courage to stick up for myself.

She makes an angry face. And I just love her angry face. I used to say all those cheesy catch-up lines ever since I first met her just to see that look on her face. She played sooo hard to get, what a far cry from today.

\- Remy, why do you say these things? I'm not yours, I'm not anyone's. For the first time in forever, I'm mine. I have full control of my life, of my powers, of my body. I'm not yours, not my mom's, or the professor's, or anyone else's. I'm not anyone's, I'm everyone's and everybody wishes me well. And that's how I want it to be for now.


	3. Chapter 3

Picture this, a coke bottle. All that carbonated liquid inside. If you shake that bottle, or let it fall, the pressure inside the bottle raises. But the bottle was made to hold that kind of pressure, so it will still hold the liquid and gas inside. But what happens if someone goes and opens that bottle? It results in a great explosion, right? Well, guess what, I'm a coke bottle. So don't judge me.

Nobody knows what it feels like to have all these voices in my head. Memories popping out as they wish that do not belong to me.

Nobody knows what it feels like to see couples in love, people kissing, hugging each other, and not be able to have the same. Everyone can, but you. It even looks as if people show affection by touching each other in front of you to make you feel small, to hurt you.

Nobody knows what it feels like to live most of your adult life without ever being able to touch another human being, not being able to touch the one you love. Nobody knows, and nobody cares I've been deprived of all this for all my life. Ok, the professor cares, I'll give him that. He also tried to help me out.

Nobody knows the pain I felt, feeling my body ache with desire for the one I love and the hell it's been to go without his kisses, his touch, his loving. The person I'm talking about has a name, Remy Etienne LeBeau. LeBeau means "the beautiful" in French, exactly what he is, handsome, beautiful, gorgeous, hot…

Back to the coke bottle story now. Well, throughout all these years every one decided my life for me, gave me orders, bossed me around and I have always, always, put everyone else's wishes before my own. Everything I wanted for myself, my dreams, my needs were like that gas trapped inside a coke bottle, safely locked inside. And nobody seemed to care about what was going on inside that bottle. It's strong it will hold it all up. But you know what? I'm not that strong as it seems. Of course, I have suffered. A lot indeed. My Beau has no idea how many times I cried myself to sleep because I could not touch him, or worse even, when I learned that he went out at night to have fun at another lady's bed. How could it possibly be love what he said he felt for me? Was he just being sadistic? Did he enjoy seeing me in pain? I'd rather he hurt me physically the danger room, real bad if he so wished, than put me through that misery of knowing he 'loved' me but had to have other women because I was just so incompetent, I could not control my powers, could not give him physical loving and as such I deserved to see him with other women. Like I had brought this upon myself. Yes, I'm a hundred percent positive that physical pain would've hurt much less.

Before him, I was doing fine. I had suppressed those needs. I didn't need love or sex, I was ok with that.

But then, there comes a deliciously handsome Cajun guy and steals my peace. The dirty thief he is! I had to be vigilant all the time to avoid his advances.

"Chére, you take a man's breath away! Why don't me and you…"

"Stop it, Gambit! I ain't your bitches!"

I remember having to remind him all the time that I could hurt if I touched him, as if he didn't know it already.

"You know what happens when I touch somebody. You wanna end up in the hospital?"  
"Maybe it's worth it, no? " [1]

I had to deal with him flirting with me on a daily basis, and after a while, well, I began to believe those things he said. Deep inside I wanted to believe him, that he truly had feelings for me. It was brilliant that anyone at all would have feelings for me, especially a guy like him. Goddam sexy! Of course, I fell for him.

Once, we were fighting some sentinels and he pushed me out of the way and took a blast aimed at me. That was the final nail in the coffin, my coffin.

"Gambit, I just wanna let you know that… I'm glad you tried to protect me back there. But I know how to defend myself, sugar"

"I didn't even have time to think it through. I saw that you were going to get hurt and I just couldn't let that happen. I never want to see you in pain, ma belle."

"You didn't have to do it, darling. Now I'm here feeling like crap seeing you lying on that bed when it should've been me. Why did you have to go and do that?"

"I did it because I love you, Rogue." – I remember I felt my heart ache at that very moment. It must've been a stupid cupid damning me for life.

"Gambit, dear, you must be hallucinating…"

"You know very well I'm not! Why else would I be doing this and all the other things I've been doing for you to show you I care about you. Chére, you can't make me not love you. And I know I do love you." – It was so easy to believe his words, so good. It's a shame that "good" never lasts for me.

From that day on, we started a relationship. A weird one. We were like boyfriend and girlfriend, we were always together, did everything together, I loved him like crazy. But like the sun and the moon, we never touched. We were like friends with NO benefits.

Time went by, and after a while I realized that he would leave the mansion every time I retired to my bedroom. So I started staying up to watch him by my window sill, to see what time he would come back home. He always returned very late, but always alone. Then, one fine day, he comes back with a girl and they stay in the car for 1 hour and 10 minutes. Yes, I counted the hours and the minutes. Then, he drove away again only to return two hours later.

That happened many times again, and I can't tell if it was the same girl or a different one every time. Probably the latter. And the love I felt for him became something else. Hate! I hated him for doing that to me, he made me fall for him and then made me feel small, so so small. Many times I followed him, put on a dark cloak and off I went. Countless times have I seen him grabbing other women's asses in dark corners, clubs, even in our garden! I wonder if he ever saw me following him. If he did, then he pretended he didn't sadistically and took pleasure in seeing my pain.

During the day, however, he was the same gallant guy, a perfect gentleman, treating me like a princess. We always had a good time together, he seemed genuinely happy when he was by my side. But oh no, that was not enough for him. He had to go and fuck anything that walked, stabbing my heart in the process.

Funny thing is that I seemed to love him when we were together and hate him when we were apart. During my night vigils, I would contemplate numerous way of getting back at him. Maybe that was the biggest motivation I had to finally be able to control my powers. In hindsight, that was precisely how I did it! I wanted it so badly, so that I could put my plan in action… that was how I finally did it!

It was the love, the hate and the pain that gave me the push, the inner strength I needed to finally conquer it. I worked harder and I did it! All by myself! When I thought I was ready and I could touch someone without harming them, I decided I had to put myself to the ultimate test.

We were on a mission in Egypt. One night we were camping in the desert. We were all sitting around a fire, discussing how we could defeat Apocalypse. Then, I simply took out my glove and reached out for Logan's hand. Nothing happened. Noticing what that meant, he turned to me and gave me a tight hug. A friendly hug.

"Rogue, that's excellent!" He whispered in my ear while our arms were interlaced. "Gumbo will be so happy." He added.

I'm almost sure that Remy thinks I slept with Logan. Not at that night, but when we were back at the mansion. Just because Logan and I always go out at night together, he must have jumped to conclusions. People judge others based on how they themselves are. When he accuses me of that, and other things, I let him talk and never deny. That's what I want anyway, I want him to think I fuck all the handsome guys that cross my way. He has to pay for what he did to me, for depriving me of the rest of sanity I still had.

Truth is I know I'm a little on the loose side now, ok, perhaps not just a little. I go out at night, I kiss all the pretty boys I see. ALL OF THEM! But that's about it, I don't go to bed with them. Also, I have something going on with Scott, something purely sexual. But he's another story… he's also a sweet revenge project I'm taking on. He's so handsome and so good at sex. I feel the conflict he's in, the good boy who knows he's being naughty. He wants to resist me, but he can't help it and this turns me on. But as I said before, Scott is another story…

[1] Actual Gambit and Rogue quotes from comics

Hope all you readers enjoy this one. I realized I have taken all the humor away from the story as translating it and actually have made it darker. And I'm enjoying to rewrite it that way. Please review! Comments and insight always help.


	4. Chapter 4

To this day I have no idea how it happened, in fact, how it still happens. I'm happy with Jean, I've always been. She's never let me down in any area of our relationship. I have loyalty, friendship and companionship with her. And sex, it's good, it's always been good. We always had chemistry in bed. Always, I swear!

I know I'm doing something wrong. She turned me into a sleazebag. Jean doesn't deserve that. And to make matters worse, I think she knows. I try not to think of that devil in the shape of a woman when I'm with Jean, because I know she'll hear my thoughts, but it's proven to be a very difficult task. How can I avoid the movie of our secret encounters that plays on my head whenever I see her? It disconcerts me. It's all so… sexy, and forbidden. And that's every man's fantasy.

I still remember the day when we all learned she could control her powers. She touched Wolverine, took his hands in hers. It was not an accident, she meant to test it. She calmly took off her gloves and touched him.

I know that because I was looking at her, watching her. On my defense, I was doing so because she started staring at me in the first place. Those criminal green eyes were looking at me maliciously and I never got that kind of look from her before. I don't think I had ever seen that look on her face ever. Not even when she looked at Gambit. We used to go on double dates, me, her, my girlfriend, her boyfriend, so I've seen her around him enough times to say that she's never looked at him that way either. Her penetrating stare seemed to dig into my soul. I felt like I was naked in the midst of a crowd. I guess it was worse than that even, I felt abused. But no one else seemed to notice the way she was looking at me.

What about those delicious luscious lips of hers? They were the culprits! She pursed her lips faking an air of innocence. Innocent my ass! Or maybe, yes, she was innocent; she hadn't been with anyone that way back then. But she had years to think about that which she couldn't do. Maybe that's what makes her so hot, perverted ever so horny and oh, so irresistible.

I thought of Gambit. He wasn't there because he had to take care of some personal stuff. He was in New Orleans to solve some issue related to the Guild. I thought that maybe Rogue was acting that way because he wasn't there so she couldn't have her fun with him. I tried to make some sense of it, even though nothing made sense at all. And she kept staring at me and it was so seductive, so tempting. The more I stared back at her, the more attracted I got.

Then it was over. But that little episode of ours was always in my mind. Yeah, Jean must know… anyway, there were attacks, counterattacks, mini battles until the mission was finally accomplished and we were back to the x-mansion. A week past and she seemed to be involved with Gambit. Things were the way they should be. That was until one afternoon when I heard a knock on my office door.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Summers. How are you?"

"Why are you talking to me like that, Anna Marie? Why so formal? What are you up to?"

"Hey, relax, sugar. Just checking on you, can't I? As for the formality, well, you're kinda my boss, are you not? What's wrong with calling you Mr. Summers?" I could hardly concentrate on what she was saying. She was wearing a little black dress and one of its spaghetti straps had fallen off her shoulder, hanging seductively over her arm.

"Nothing wrong. I just thought it's not your style, not how you used to call me. We're friends, aren't we? And it's just that you're acting strange lately. You look like someone else at times."

"I know, sugar. Things have changed drastically for me recently." She added, her tone of voice seemed to want to imply something else.

"I know." I replied rather bluntly.

"I can do lots of things now that I had never imagined possible for me."

"I can imagine. I understand Gambit must be enjoying all these new possibilities."

"You know? You don't need to imagine… He's the not the only who can, you know, enjoy these possibilities." She sighed sensually at every pause and our body distance narrowed until we were an inch away from each other. She looked up at me and her lips brushed mine, very delicately at first, then her lips parted and crashed violently into mine. She rested her hands on my chest as if she would push me away at any minute. Body language doesn't lie, it's hard to fake. She was in conflict too, kissing me and positioned as if she would try to push me away. She also knows this is wrong.

Her hands began traveling through my body, groping at my ass, never stopping, those hands of hers. We were still kissing while she caressed my chest, then my abdomen, till she unzipped my trousers. Our lips parted. Her green eyes stared deep into my eyes, I mean, glasses, anyway, you get the picture. She licked her lips slowly then smiled at me. It was all very arousing.

I felt adrenaline spreading over my body in a rush. I wish I could have had the strength to look away, to tell her to stop and get the hell out of my office, but I just didn't have it in me. I was weak. Next, she kneeled on the floor and, God, she pleased me in the best way a woman can please a man. I threw my head back and let out a loud moan. Jean has never done it quite like that. Those luscious lips of hers encircling my member, sucking with enthusiasm. How did that devil who was still a virgin until just the other day learned how to do it so well? I stopped her short, grabbed her by the shoulders until our eyes were locked again. Then I turned her around abruptly, she was not my wife, I didn't want to look into her eyes and see I was doing someone else. She didn't protest, only stretched her arms forward and placed the palm of her hands against the wall. I smelled the back of her neck, closing my eyes, taking in her scent, absolutely maddening and intoxicating. I licked her and got her taste in my system, then started trailing kisses down her neck, moaning a little as I did so, lifted up the hem of her dress, I wanted to push her panties to one side so I could penetrate her, but to my surprise, she was not wearing any…

I need to resist this woman, but I can't and that drives me nuts. I like to have things under control but she makes me lose it all. What is one man to do? I can't even talk about it, ask for some advice. Nobody can help me. I only have her to talk this through, but she's my partner in crime and she doesn't seem to repent all this as I do.

A knock on my door.

"Hey, sugar."

"Anna Marie, it's five in the afternoon. Jean will show up here at any time. What are you doing here?" I tried to reprimand her.

"Chill, Cykes. I just wanted to show you something I've learned today in these classes I'm taking."

"Seriously? Is that it? What classes are those?"

"Pole dancing." She smiled broadly. 

I took a deep breath and muttered. "Come in."


	5. Chapter 5

5

How terribly unlucky I am! It's been particularly hard to be a telepath lately. Knowing that I might deserve it doesn't make things easier.

Scott and I have always had a special mental connection, different from what I have with other people, even with other telepaths such as Professor Xavier. Maybe it's just because we have been involved all these years. Or maybe it's not telepathy, it's just that I know him better than anyone else. But yes, if I weren't a telepath, I wouldn't be able to hear his mind screaming feelings of lust when he's banging her.

We have been through a long road Scott and I, we go way back and it is out of respect of the man I know he is and also because I still love him despite all that's been going on that I don't kick his unfaithful ass out of my bed. I live in hope that I will be able to turn the tables around. Oh, but yes I will turn this around. She doesn't know what I have coming for her…

I know exactly why she's at it with Scott, besides the fact that he's obviously a very attractive man. She seeks revenge, revenge against me, for all the times I made her feel smaller than a rat. I know my words had that effect on her and I kept them coming anyway. In fact, realizing that she envied me fuelled my need to make her feel bad about herself, if that makes any sense. It does to me.

We were close friends and it was only natural that I told her everything about my sexual adventures with him. I remember how she used to shrink in her chair while I babbled on about how our sex was amazing. I used to tell her about my multiple orgasms or funny positions Scott would come up with… she sometimes had to swallow her urge to cry. I know it was very sadistic of me, and it doesn't make me look better the fact that I knew exactly what went through her mind as I told my tales. But I was addicted to seeing her pain, it made me feel superior and I liked it.

I had what no one else had in that mansion, a loving caring relationship with the man I loved and who loved me back. She had the potential because Gambit has always loved her, but she simply couldn't have what I had. They were friends who wished they could be lovers.

"Hello, Jean. I haven't seen you today! What have you guys been up to?" she would ask naively.

"Well, Scott and I have spent the whole afternoon making sweet sweet love to each other! It was amazing. What about you and Remy?"

"Er… nothing as interesting as that, I suppose. I played poker with Gambit, he wanted to show me some dirty tricks. Also, he was practicing for some poker competition he's going to and wanted some training. I… I was glad I could help him out with that."

"Oh, poor you, Anna, you should be having more fun that."

"I know." She would always agree with me shrugging her shoulders. What else could she say? Then I would move on to describing my lovemaking, using as many adjectives as I possibly could to let her know how great it was, and how awful it was for her that she couldn't experience the same. This kind of dialogue took place many times.

I must admit I was mean to her, really mean and now she's making me pay for it. I bullied her like there was no tomorrow, but all the while I pretended I was just being her friend by telling her all about it. But never had I imagined she had this in her, this revenge thing. I was truly happy for her when I saw her touching Logan with no ill effect. Not for a second, I thought I'd be losing the fun I got out of teasing her. I like her for God's sake, maybe not as much now, obviously. But I really think or used to think of her as a friend. On hindsight, I guess friends don't do what I did to her. And as the saying goes, he who laughs last laughs best.

At this exact moment, I know they are at it. He's in pleasure and pain at the same time. He knows he shouldn't be doing her, but apparently, their sex is so good he can't resist her. I went inside his head when they were doing it the other day. I promised myself I'll never do that again, she completely blows up his mind. I can't take the pain. I saw her laying down on his office table. Her breast pressed hard against the hard wood, her hair spread all over in various directions, he pulled himself into her, hard, rough and fast, again and again. He exhaled deeply as he watched her behind from his privileged point of view. His hands were holding her tiny waist tight, as if he was trying to strangle it.

"Rogue, you bitch, you drive me insane." He said under his breath not caring to hide the moral conflict she inflicts upon him.

"Sugar… that's… exactly…what I want." She managed to reply in between moans. She looked over her shoulder and flashed him a wicked grin. He entered her even harder and let out a long moan. 

He does it to her like he's never ever done it to me. There's a mix of fury, passion and pure sexual desire that I have never felt in him before. She turns him on in an uncontrollable way, it's stronger than him. And I used to believe that love was the most powerful force there was. Apparently, judging by their merely sexual relationship, it's not. Or maybe he's just too weak or doesn't love me enough. It hurts so badly that I have this quite omnipotent view of this situation I wish I didn't have.

She thinks I'm the only one who is hurting, but so is she. She gets her pleasure from Scott, but Gambit is her guy, she doesn't realize it, but he is. She can't analyze her own feelings to come to this easy conclusion. I've heard her thoughts while my Scott was pushing hard into her, she was thinking of how her heart aches a little, she feels a sudden rush of emotions when Gambit fucks her and how it doesn't happen with my husband. She was wondering if that meant she loved Remy. Of course, it does, silly!

Even though she wants to give Remy the impression she's a total slut and that he's only another guy she fucks, she's only had him and Scott. Having sex with Scott is like eating. She gets hungry, she eats. And she's starved for all of her life, so she gets hungry all the time. Now with Gambit, it's a whole different thing. She makes love to him, like Scott and I do too. They are wilder than us, I think, but still.

I have a plan to screw her back, she'll see. I'm so angry at the two of them that I myself feel like getting back at Scott right now. How can he possibly think that he'll get out of this one? They won't, I know this one thing. They won't. I'd better call Logan to see if he can help me out with my plan.

.

.

I have no idea what time it is but I guess I might as well go and try his door once again. I gotta put on my best drunken face. Oh Remy, how can you fall for that? He seems to really think I don't remember what I do to him late at night.

"Hello, sugar. Were you sleeping so early?"

"It's not early, it's 1:30 in the morning." He said with a somewhat angry tone of voice.

"I was wondering if…"

"I know what you want every time you knock on my door this late."

"So… if we both know it, why don't you just let me in and quit the silliness?"

He grumbled a little, not like him, he's usually glad to see me, under any circumstances as he said the other day. It just took me some gentle stroke in his hair and a peck on his lips while he stared down bitterly at me to turn him around It wasn't long before we were sweaty and panting lying side by side on his bed after making love. Love? Did I just say love?

He fell asleep shortly after. I sat on the bed just to watch him. Gently I swept his hair away from his eyes. I was fascinated by watching his eyes closed. One could just forget he was a mutant, he was this gorgeous man who could have done really well at modeling but preferred stealing. I giggled a little at that thought which made him stir a little in bed. His hair was covering his eyes again. I leaned over and gave him a little kiss on his cheek, I could smell his unique manly scent which makes me so in love with him. In love? Gosh, realization smacked me hard in the face. I AM in love with him! All over again. I wanted to wake him up showering him with passionate kisses, but decided against it. I need to think it all through.


	6. Chapter 6

I can't decide if I should help Jean with her plan or not. She knows I have feelings for her and clearly wants to use me. What she doesn't seem to know is that I'm not an ass, nobody makes a fool outta me. Not even her!

I like Rogue, she's always been a good friend to me. I was truly honored to be the first one she touched with confidence. I was the facilitator, she said. I'm glad my powers somehow helped her. I also know she decided to touch me in front of everybody not only because of my powers but because she trusts me, that crazy southerner. I guess before she saw me as an unlikely father figure, but now, she sees me as a friend. I don't want to be a dick and ruin our mutual trust.

Plus, her relationship with Scott has been beneficial to me so far. I was hoping that his betrayed wife would look elsewhere for some proper loving. Besides, I love watching Scott wrecked as he is now. He's always believed he was fucking perfect. Ha! Perfect my ass! He now knows he's a mere imperfect mortal like the rest of us. Well, in fact, worse than me, I say! If I had Jean as my wife, I would never mess around. When I'm in, I'm in. It's hilarious to me how Mr. Right has proven to be imperfect, unfaithful and insincere. What a fall from grace! Ha! I always knew there was a jerk deep inside the four-eyed.

So back to Jean's plan, I don't know how I could get any profit out of this. The only good that could come out of it would be her fulfilling her part in the bargain and spending the night with me, you know, in my room. Just for one night, she said. Once she tastes Wolvie goodness, I seriously doubt it will be a one-time-only deal. That's what I've been salivating about for God knows how long, but still, I'm not sure it's worth it. I'm not like that unfaithful bastard, I have standards and rules of conduct. I would never betray someone who's proven to be a good friend of mine. Yeah, I think I'll pass it.

Come think of it, maybe the redhead wants to score and is using this whole plan-to-get-her-husband-back as an excuse to do so. I guess she knows I usually do anything for her, so I wouldn't be asking her to trade favors. Now would I do anything for her? Anything that doesn't involve me betraying my friends, I suppose.

I'm gonna call Rogue and see if we can go out tonight. Maybe if things are not going right, I could do what Jean wants and help Rogue indirectly so that way it would be a win-win deal. Also, I want to get plastered. I think better when I'm not sober.

"What's up, Anna? Do you have plans for tonight?"

"Hi, Logan. Tonight? I was thinking… I want to go out tonight an kiss some seriously hot guys." She said and giggled a little. It reminded me of the drunken night we made out a little. We were totally wasted and I started kissing her, she didn't resist at first but snapped out of it and slapped my face really hard when my wandering hands touched her ass. That's how it began, that's how it ended, in less than a minute. But everyone in the mansion seems to think we have a thing going on. That couldn't be any further away from reality. They have implied many times that Rogue and I have already fucked, but we didn't and I really wanted to tell Gambit. Tell him that what we did do was to have a minute of drunken madness once and it didn't mean anything. It was stupid and Rogue and I never even mentioned it ever again. But Anna didn't let me do it. She said that's her way of making him pay for all the times he slept with other women while pretending to be her loving trustworthy boyfriend. I told her a guy has needs, she couldn't do it, Gumbo found some girls who could, not a big deal. But she told me off and called me a male chauvinist pig. So I kept my mouth shut and Gumbo makes a disgusted face whenever he sees me anywhere near Rogue. I can't even look her way in his presence that makes a face.

"Ok, Anna. We can have a few pints and then you can do whatever you please."

"Sounds about right. Deal then. But, tell me, why do you sound so desperate to get high, huh?"

"Since when do we need a reason to drink?"

"Ok, I got your point. Listen, can I bring Remy along?"

"Well, I have nothing against him, I like him, I do, but the guy hates me. Why do you want to bring him? You guys will always have the end of the night… And, what about the kissing you said you wanted to do?"

"That's exactly why! He needs to see it! Feel what I've felt! Also, I'm… I'm getting weak and… I think… er… I guess I'm falling with him all over again. I need to do something about it."

"God damn it, Anna! He's never meant for you to see anything. You followed him!"

"You men are admirably a united bunch of bastards. You're always defending him, even though he accuses you with his eyes every time he sees us together. Well, I gotta go now. I'll track him and invite him to come. It's decided."

"Will you invite him only? Ha! I'm sure you'll do much more than just inviting him. And then, my dear friend, if you say you think you're falling, once you guys do it again, you'll be kissing your heart goodbye for once and for all. The guy seems to have a talent with the ladies from what I hear. I have no idea how you have this thing you have going on, whatever you call it, for this long and still claim you don't love him. I don't think you're falling, Rogue, you were never out of it to start with. "

She bitched about what I said a bit and hang up a minute later. I guess I gave her something to think about.

I got a bit pissed that Gambit is coming because that way I won't be able to talk about Scott tonight as I'd planned. I'll have to find some other time in her busy schedule of training, teaching, fucking my beloved one's husband, fucking her own man, going to strip classes or whatever it is that she calls it. Fuck! This is going to be harder than I thought! I might as well go to the war room, program Sabretooth and have my fun. That will take my mind away from other people's problems and make me happy. And maybe later, I'll go talk to Jean, not about her stupid plan, but talk about us. Me and her. She thinks she loves the four-eyes, but I'm sure she's got a little crush on me. She's had enough of perfection, I'm sure she likes my grumpy ways. At least I have always been true to her, never hid my feelings. Yes, man, I think I might be very close to getting what I want now. Closer than ever before.

.

.

.

I had gathered all my self-respect and courage, I was determined to tell her to fuck off and forget we were ever an item. I was going to say 'no' to her for the first time. But she came again, looking as hot as ever, but at the same time, there was something about her which reminded me of her old self. I can't say what it is, whatever it was it disarmed me. I tried to ignore all that, but she was so delicate, touched my hair lovingly, gave me a little kiss, and oh yes, silly me I gave it all in. So much for trying!

We did it yet again, but it was different this time. She wasn't hungry as always, we took it slow, spent a long time kissing and caressing each other before actually doing it. And there went all my hope of talking seriously once it was all over. I want to end it all. I think I still do. I don't want to share her with anyone, especially not with him. This has got to end.

Interestingly enough, when I finally take this decision, that's when she surprises me with little things that make me want to go back on my decision. Last night, I was sleeping after having another romp with her and I remember her kissing me as I slept. Was it a dream? I don't think it was, but it's a bit foggy in my mind. I do remember feeling it, though. I must've been too tired, I should've woken up and asked her what that was all about. 

Earlier today, she calls me and asks me out. She hasn't done that in ages. Now my silly old heart is filled with hope and joy. I can't help but wonder if she loves me. Or could it be that she's realized she's losing me and just can't let me go? I know I'm a fool, but I can't lie to myself, I truly hope it's the first option.


	7. Chapter 7

As I got dressed I was thinking of the things I was going to say to her. I practiced dialogues in my head. Things like 'I don't want to be your booty call every other night', 'You've changed so much I can hardly recognize you, chére' and the all-time classic 'We can still be friends'. Truth is I'm not entirely convinced this is what I want. What I really wanted to say is 'I still love you', 'I want you to be all mine', "I don't want to share you with other men' and, finally, 'I wish we could go back in time so you could undo all the bad you've done to us.'

We used to be so simple, so easy, we loved each other even though we couldn't touch, and we were so good together. I mean, not sexually obviously, because there was none of it, but it was so nice to be around her. There was none of this heartache, it was perfect harmony. True, I had to look elsewhere to fulfill my sexual needs but I wouldn't be tense as I was at that very moment, waiting for her to meet me up at the hall. Now, things that are going good can escalate into disaster pretty quickly. 

I could hear myself exhaling heavily as I pondered over our relationship. And then, then I saw her at the top of the staircase and the cloud lifted instantly. She was a vision of perfection! Her long hair adorned her arms adoringly with its subtle curls. She was wearing one of her killing little black dresses. It was short but not in any way vulgar. I decided she looked cute in it. Her beauty was unbearable, it drove me to despair. And the most striking feature in her look was still to present itself, the huge smile she flashed at the exact moment when our eyes met. Her eyes twinkled as the smile touched her eyes. 

"Hey, sugar." She said as she got close to me, she tucked her hair behind her ears self-consciously. She looked… shy? Was I imagining things? Words left me and I couldn't say anything at all. "Remy? You can say hello to me, you know?" she continued, showing a little bit of annoyance at me not saying anything at all. I felt this sudden crippling urge to have her, rip her clothes apart and pin her body against the nearest wall. A maddening jolt of desire shot straight to my groin which I had to battle to utter any words at all. I took a deep breath and managed to speak.

"Chére, I… I… I can't… you, you look stunning."

"Well, thanks, Cajun. You don't look bad yourself either." She said with a grin. "Do you want to drive or should I? Logan has left already, he's riding his bike tonight."

I could hardly say anything. The more I looked at her, the more I knew as clearly as I know I am going to die one day, that I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined. I love this woman, no matter what pain she puts me through, I'm completely helpless, I am deeply in love with her.

"You'd better drive, I don't think I'd be able to focus on the driving."

"Why not?" She seemed genuinely oblivious to the effect she has on me and shrugged. "OK, I'll drive." She said without waiting for me to answer her question. She stopped short though, thought for a moment and added "Are you… turned on?" She laughed at me. "Well, we can take care of that later, if you're lucky, that is." She laughs again, laughs at my despair. She must think it's hilarious that I now depend on her to experience sexual pleasure. And it's true, I do, after I had her, I just couldn't bring myself to go to bed with any other women. "Let's go then, sugar." she added and that's when she offered a hand for me to hold.

"So we're back to holding hands after all this time, huh?" I had to be a jerk and point it out, provoking the most surprising reaction in her. She blushed! It has been ages since I last saw her blushing and before, she used to blush all the time. What in the world is going on? She can't be faking it, can she? I don't think so.

"Sorry, I…" She said in the tiniest of voices as she hugged herself self-consciously and kept walking without looking at me. I walked a little faster and stopped her by holding her right shoulder.

"Sorry, chére. Of course, I want to walk hand in hand with you. It's just that I wasn't used to that anymore. I loved holding your gloved hand, now there are no gloves at all. Here, you see, easy." I held both her hands in mine and kissed the back of each one of them. She smiled and said nothing.

After our first little drama of the night, we started making our way out of the mansion, hand in hand, with a silly smile on both our faces. But just as we were about to leave, in the hall came Jean and Scott holding shopping bags. What an awkward situation! Anna held my hand tighter, like a child that's got scared of something and needs reassurance. We kept walking and she stared down at the floor as if her life depended on that.

"Hi, you guys." Jean said, Scott was visibly as uncomfortable as my chére was and didn't say a thing.

"Bonsoir, Jean."

"Hi." Anna Marie was hardly audible. Her eyes had still not moved away from staring at the floor.

Once we were finally out of the mansion, I could hear her sighing in relief. We walked to the car, hand in hand without saying a single word to each other. When she took her place in the driver's seat, she leaned forward, closed her eyes, put both her hands on her forehead and let her fingers slid down through her hair slowly while sighing heavily. I didn't dare to ask what the matter was because I knew exactly what it was. She is realizing now how much she's screwed us all. There was nothing I could say, there's no consolation to that. I don't know if we'll ever bounce back from such heartache.

….

"Oh, there you are, you two! You guys left me waiting here forever. I had to start drinking by myself." The shortie said as we walked in the bar. I refrained from saying anything at all. I don't sympathize with him, not anymore. We used to be buddies, but that was before he started having his share of my girl… What am I doing here again? I can't believe I'll spend the evening with the two of them. Rogue and her two men! Maybe we should call Scott to join us…

"I see you are drunk already, Logan. Give us a break, will you?" Ma belle replied.

"Were you guys doing it in the car, is that why you took so long?"

"There's none of your business, Wolverine." I spit back at him.

"Guys, guys, relax. I took longer than I usually do to get ready. I wanted to look good tonight… for you, Remy." She said with a smile, and she blushed again as she said my name. What is going on? I want a book, a guide, to teach me how to understand this woman.

We sat at the table where Wolverine was in, we sat next to each other and she rested her right hand on my inner thigh. I was like 'OK, then' and decided not to comment anything about her hand on me.

"I'm gonna get you two lovebirds drinks. What will you have?" We told him what we wanted and were once again left alone. I looked down at her, trying to catch her eye, when she looked at me her eyes were shining brightly. I lift her chin with one hand and wrapped my other arm around her shoulders and then I kissed her. Our kiss grew from soft to urgent, she moaned lightly against my lips. How am I ever going to break free from her when I love her so much? I love kissing her, the taste of her lips and her beautiful green eyes shining bright when our eyes are locked. She started trailing kisses down my neck while secretly touching the bulge in my pants. Her hands under the table, well out of anyone's sight, wanted to feel my erection. I was about to invite her to a mischievous quickie in the men's room when the adamantium beast came back…

"Rogue, if I knew you guys would be like this, I would've stepped out of the way. I just thought I'd see you kissing other guys in front of him. I couldn't miss that for the world!"

'Logan, shut up! There's going to be none of that. I've changed my mind." She spoke hurriedly.

"Oh, why not? Oh, I know! You fell for good." He laughed out loud. "You are crazy in love with him and gave up on your revenge, didn't you? I always knew it would happen." He blinked at her.

"Hey, what are you talking about, you dickhead?" I couldn't believe what I had just heard! She planned to hook up with other guys and she wanted me to see it? Revenge? Revenge for what? I felt a rush of adrenaline spread through my veins.

"Gumbo, there's so much you don't know..." He said trailing off. I looked angrily at Rogue and she didn't look back at me, she was busy nervously downing the drinks Wolverine had just brought us.

"I'll go get another round." She stood up briskly, as if running away. Well, in fact, that was exactly what she was doing, she was running away. She still hadn't looked at me, she turned to Logan and said with a rather shaky voice. "You! You drunk bastard! You shut the fuck up!"

But just as she turned on her heel, he started dishing out all the truth to me, his alcohol stinky breath was nauseating me.

" Gambit, listen to me, don't you give me this evil eye anymore. I've never fucked your girl. Never, ever. I swear, man! You know I can be many things, but I'm not a liar." He had a point, I don't believe he was lying. I've never seen he even trying to

"So why did… why did she never say she didn't?"

"She's only been with you and Scott. Oops, sorry, you know about Scott, don't you?"

"I do!" I grunted. "What about her nights out with you?"

"We drink, we talk shit, we play snooker, she dances and kisses one or another guy. But that's pretty much it. You thought she was screwing guys like crazy, didn't you?" He laughed out loud, Anna Marie was still at the counter and Wolvie's laughter made her turn her head and stare at us. She was frowning and biting her nails. When she saw me looking at her, she looked the other way, as if waiting for the guy to bring her drinks. That was it! I'd had more than enough of this shit. I stood up, walked up to her and grabbed her by her arm more violently than I intended to. She looked at me with a panicky expression on her face.

"Why? Why were you bringing me here to see you seduce other guys?" I demanded.

"I was not going to do it anymore." She almost whispered her reply.

"Why would you do that to me? What's wrong with you? What have I ever done to you for you to think that I deserve to see you with other guys? Why are you fucking Scott right under my nose? Why all of this? Why?" At this point, everyone in the bar was staring at us. She mumbled something in reply that I could not catch.

"What? What did you say?" I barked.

"BECAUSE YOU CHEATED ON ME REPEATEDLY FIRST!" she shouted and stormed out of the bar. I was absolutely flabbergasted. It all made sense now, she knew. She's always known I fooled around and she made me pay for it. She must fucking hate me.

I looked at Wolverine as if asking him what I should do next. He got the clue and motioned for me to follow her. And so I did.


	8. Chapter 8

I should've known the evening was going to flop. Even though I was so excited to go out with him, when I saw Cyclops, it was like a bucket of cold water being splashed over my head. It was reality crushing over, things are not that simple. Apparently, I cannot just decide I'm back in love with him and everything will go back to the way it was. It won't. There's Scott, there are the other guys, there are him and his other ladies before and during me. There will always be resentment. But no matter how deep down we go with all this mess, my heart keeps telling me there's a chance. Or maybe it's just… I don't know what it is, honestly.

I was so angered at him back in the bar, when he found out that I did it all on purpose, just to hurt him back. He blamed it all on me. How could he? It never occurred to him that I knew that he cheated on me and that it hurt? It hurt sooo badly. I had trusted someone for the first time in my whole life, I called him my boyfriend, I gave my heart to him. I avoided doing that for my whole life, he comes, charms me, just to go and make a fool out of me in the end. The familiar feeling of hate came back with all its might when he spoke to me harshly for everyone to see and hear. I had to get out of that place and just as I did, a guy followed me out.

"Excuse me, excuse me. Anna? Are you ok?" asked the guy, trying to look at me in the eyes while he spoke.

"What? Who are you? How do you know my name?"

"Well, er… we… we met the other day. Remember? We…talked, we… made out... a little."

"Oh sorry, I'm… I can't say I remember you. Sorry about that." How embarrassing was that?

"Anyway, I… I just wanted to check that you are ok. That guy back there, the way he treated you... Do you want me to drive you home or something?"

Poor thing, he seemed genuinely concerned. And I was feeling down, I might as well have thrown myself into his arms and sob my heart out. But just as the thought crossed my mind I saw Remy coming out, he seemed to be looking for me at first. I saw him at the exact second when he spotted me in the dark. His facial expression turned from worried to furious. He walked up to us purposefully. My heart sank in anticipation of what was about to follow.

"Hey you, you little piece of shit! Who the fuck do you think you are? Get away from my girlfriend!" Uh? Girlfriend? Now it's my turn to ask if we are back to that after all this time… Ok, I detested the way he was acting. But I can't deny that his jealousy turned me on. He had been so weak lately, taking all the crap I threw at him without much complaint. Not today though. That cave man behavior of his, like 'this is my woman' must do something to my hormones. On my defense, I can also add that I was a little tipsy. Oh, and that we are talking about Remy… goddamn sexy.

The poor fellow looked into his dark eyes and widened his own in fear.

"Anna, he's a mutant! You have to get away from him, seriously. Let me drive you home." Oh no, there we go again… us 'muties' the revolting creatures…

"Drive? Man, you are misinformed. If you're so afraid of mutants, you should get away from this one here. And don't need to worry about her, she can fly home if she so wishes." The guy started running. Oh, so predictable. He finally turned to me and said. "Chére, we need to talk." He came close to me and threw his right arm around my shoulders and started walking me to our car. Once we'd reached it, he leaned on it while I stood a few inches away from him with my arms crossed.

"Oh do we?" I looked at him with a disapproving look on my face, as disapproving as I could muster given that I was a bit high.

"So you knew. What can I say? I wanted to have what you couldn't give me. I thought it was obvious that I was going to do that. I didn't know you would be so rancorous as to plan your sweet revenge on me."

"Oh really? Do you really think I was going to go like ok, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do? So how do you like it now that you've tasted your own remedy?"

"It doesn't taste good, chére." He lowered his head, his gorgeous hair hid a good part of his face. Does it he do it on purpose? This abandoned puppy impersonation has to be his way of breaking me.

"Remy, you hurt my feelings really bad. I didn't let anyone near me because I knew, God, I knew I'd be heartbroken! Then you come along with a world of sweet promises, makes me fall for you, just to crash my heart into tiny pieces later on. Why would you take your time, invest in our relationship and then sleep around? Why didn't you just let me be and went ahead and lived the life you wanted to live with all the women in the world if that was what you wanted. You should've just left me the fuck alone!" I could see he was growing mildly irritated. But I continued. "Besides, you of all people, I thought you'd understand that I was not being a slut, it's just that, after my power emerged I had never ever touched people without knowing I could put them in a coma or worse... It still amazes me what I can cause you or any other guy, the arousal, the pleasure and there are just so many ways you can touch and be touched. When I was first able to touch, I was overwhelmed and I wanted it all, now I'm starting to get settled. It was not only to get back at you, you know? I had to experience it all."

He considered what I said in silence for a moment. His nostrils flared while stared heavily at me. His lips were immobile and didn't give away what he was thinking. It made me a little uncomfortable, I felt like he was reading my soul. There I was, I laid it all on the table and was anxious to hear what he would make of what I said.

"Petite, for what I've done, I'm sorry, really, I am" he paused and patted his trenchcoat for cigarettes. He got one from a packet, and seemed in no hurry to light it up. Oh great! As if I was not dying in anticipation, he took his time showing complete disregard for my affliction. After lighting it up and put it in his mouth and inhaled the smoke, held it in his mouth for a moment and spoke only after slowing exhaling.

"But chére, I never thought it was an offense to you me hunting for sex. I did it so that I could keep it up with you. And I didn't do it on your face. And if it's any consolation, most of the times I pictured you, I imagined I was doing it to you. It was sad and pathetic, but that's what I did." Inhale, exhale. "But you, you ruined me ever since you started this game of yours. You chose someone we both knew very well to be your lover. You kind of broke up with me to be with all these guys. What for, chére? We could have been great, but you started treating me like a party left over. And I accepted it because you know, it's easy to make me feel worthless of you, because of what I did, the murders on my back, with me, it all goes back to that." Inhale, exhale again. This was getting old. I should have made him eat that fucking cigarette… "You knew it, and you didn't care. I lov… loved you… love you, no, loved, you get the picture, and you, you didn't even care to hide it all from me, you wanted me to know and to suffer. That's plain mean of you."

"You know what, Remy. I guess people don't get other people's suffering. You'll never know how much you hurt me and I'll probably never know how much I hurt you back. We are a pair of completely screwed up people. We've got all our traumas, the guilt, the pain… I thought we connected because of that, now I see that we connected in spite of that."

"True, chére." He said just before throwing his cigarette butt on the ground and stepping on it.

I find it amusing that we were chatting nonchalantly like that. Many times I imagined how it would be like when we actually had a confrontation and came clean about everything, it always involved a loud arguing, perhaps some objects being thrown against the wall, or even physical violence, like someone being slapped across the face and stuff. But never this.

"So, er… what do we do now? Where do we go from here?" I asked, feeling completely helpless.

"You get in the car and I'll drive. You're not fit to drive." He said matter-of-factly. I did as I was told. He drove us back to the mansion. We were in such a happy mood when we first saw each other that evening and the night was about to end and it couldn't possibly look any bleaker. Once we got there, he got out of the car and opened my door for me. The sadness I was feeling must've shown because his hardened face disappeared when he looked at me. He kneeled on the ground and rested his head on my lap before I had any chance of getting out of the car. Even though I was taken by surprise by his display of vulnerability, I started caressing his hair gently.

"Why is this so hard? Why?" he said.

"What's so hard, sugar?"

"Saying goodbye to you. Letting you go and live your life whichever way you want to." I felt as if my heart had just been stabbed. I got so nervous that I think my body started shaking a bit. Never had I imagined this day would come.

"Well, I… I…" my voice was shaking, I couldn't speak. I felt an unannounced tear roll down my face. "Sugar, I… we don't have to part ways, especially if we still feel we have feelings for each other."

"We do, chére. We do. Because our mutual trust is broken, how could we ever be something for real after all these lies, this disregard for one another's feelings?" He lifted up his head and saw me crying. He softly brushed my tears away with his thumb, then he kissed my cheeks where the tears had been. But it turned out his gesture had the exact opposite effect and I just couldn't keep myself from crying even more. I started sobbing. Why was I so unprepared for those words of his? How in the world did I not anticipate this? I guess I took him for granted and now I regret that. I finally pulled myself together and was able to speak.

"What happens now?" He lowered his head and looked as if he was thinking of what to say. I continued. "Let me ask you this, Remy, tell me, as a friend, do you think people may fall in love again?"

"What do you mean, chére?"

"Am I destined to be alone forever now?"

"Well, I suppose you can find someone else and start anew."

"Really? Have you loved many women?" he looked uncomfortable at hearing that question. I tried to rephrase it. "Do you think it's possible for anyone to love more than one person in their lifetime, like having more than one 'love of my life'?"

He sighed heavily, lifted his head and looked into my eyes to answer. "Honestly? I don't know. I have had more than a lady that I thought I really liked, but then, there was you. And it was no way close to what I've felt before. It was much stronger." It was, he said. That's all I could hear him say. It's over. More tears followed. "Even after you did what you did to me, I kept loving you, wanting you. Truth is, I still do. I still want you, but I just can't go on like this. I'm entitled to some self-respect, aren't I? I have to love myself more than I love you. I haven't loved myself at all lately." He paused and grinned sadly, if that's even possible, but he did. "You, ma petite, I never thought you'd react to my decision this way."

His lips then slowly moved towards mine. And we kissed. What a great kisser he is! He then moved away only to graze his lips against my neck while breathing in my skin. It was so intense, so heartfelt. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation. He started trailing kisses down my neck, then cupped my breasts with both his hands and moved on to kissing my cleavage. He then went back to kissing me passionately and slid a hand under my dress. I wanted him to have me so badly. I want him to fuck me senseless inside that car, but all of sudden, he stopped the action.

"Sorry, chére. I'm sorry, we can't break up like this."

"Oh yes, you can, sugar. Give me this one last time at least." I pleaded. And with that, I pulled him away from me and took off my dress while staring deeply into his eyes. He couldn't keep himself from gasping.

"Ma belle, don't you think this will make it so much harder for us?"

"I don't care, I need this. Remy, please." I said as unhooked my bra.

"Anna, we're in the parking lot. Anyone could catch us here." He said but there was no need for me pleading anymore. He gave himself in. We went to the back seat. He laid me down. He kissed me all over, as if saying his farewell to every inch of my body and boy, it made me tingle. He gave me the best oral sex ever as if that was even possible as he was always so good at that. He sucked me and licked me making my body quiver with pleasure. When he finally pushed into me, I had already orgasmed three times. How will anyone be able to give me that? No one!

Then it was my turn to straddle him like crazy, placing my hands and knees on each side of this perfectly sculpted torso. I came again. He then laid me back onto the back seat again, propping me up on my elbows and letting my bum hang off the edge. That gave him a full view and full control of the moves while I laid back and enjoyed myself. I moaned loudly and unashamedly as he pumped harder and faster into me. We both reached orgasm together this time.

I was so aroused by sex, that I had almost forgotten this was break up sex until it was his turn to burst into tears after sex was over. Breaking up? I guess we're doing it wrong.

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.

This has just been the last time we made love. I can't believe I finally broke up with her. It will be for the best, I suppose. For both of us. But how will I go on, seeing her every day and having the memories of great nights of sex like these? My heart aches and I know I still love her. Maybe I should go away for some time.


	9. Chapter 9

I hadn't heard the familiar knock on the door for over a week. They seemed to be trying to reconnect for good after that day we met them at the hall. She hadn't seen me for three days prior to that evening. They looked like what they used to be, holding hands, acting all lovey-dovey. However, to everyone's utter surprise, especially ours, Gambit fled the mansion on the following day. He's off to Louisiana with some lame excuse that the Thieves' Guild is claiming his presence. But I know better than that.

I know he must be trying to get away from her, from their destructive relationship, from the inevitable pull of attraction. I know it very well because all this time I've also been trying to resist her, and it's been too impossible a mission for me. I can only imagine what it's like for him, having history, feelings involved and all that. Luckily for me, it seemed that she had decided to discard me, so I didn't have to say no to her amazing body. Jean is happy, then I am happy. Things were getting back to normal between us two.

My sense of accomplishment and relief was short-lived though. My happy thoughts were interrupted. Knock, knock, knock. I sighed heavily, stood up and opened the door. Unfortunately, or should I say, fortunately, she wasn't grinning and flashing me those sexy malicious eyes. Her eyes were not focusing on my body as usual, or on anything else for that matter. She kept her arms folded and looked down as she asked me if she could come in.

"Of course you can, Anna." I replied. She looked terribly sad, my heart sank in sympathy and I just didn't think twice before opening my arms wide so that she could throw herself in them. And so she did, without a second of hesitation.

"He left me, Scott. I screwed it up with him, with you, with Jean… with myself. I… I'm sorry to come here and disturb you, but I… I needed a shoulder to cry on and I didn't know who else to turn to. Everybody else will judge me. I think, I…" Her confusion and torment showed in her babbling.

"Shhhh…. Shhh… you don't need to justify yourself." I caressed her back gently and felt her whole body trembling. She was crying. Should I be offended that she is sad because he left? I don't think I should, there was never any serious romantic intention between us two. I knew she was his and she knew I was Jean's. I wouldn't leave my wife for her but I couldn't help but have special feelings towards the girl who was in my arms. Feelings of love, I love her like a friend would. I didn't rejoice in witnessing her pain, of course, I didn't. I truly wish her well. Moreover, we had some great sex the two of us, and I guess being partners in crime drew us closer somehow and that was being attested at that very moment. She came to me for help, for understanding. I know Jean wouldn't appreciate it if she walked in on us locked in an embrace, but I couldn't help feeling flattered that she trusted me.

She slowly pulled away from my arms. Her face was wet with tears but they weren't rolling down anymore.

"Rogue, er… Anna, I don't mean to hurt you with my words, but seriously, didn't you know that this was a possibility? That eventually, he would get tired of your… behavior. He wanted you to take him seriously."

"Well, you got away with it." She replied instantly. I know she didn't mean to accuse me, she didn't speak harshly. After all, it's a fact, isn't it? I did get away with murder. "Sorry, I… I didn't mean to… don't take offense, please."

"None taken." I replied honestly.

"So tell me, how did you do it? I mean, seriously! How did you get to keep Jean? What do you think I should do? Should I track him down and tell him I won't accept no for an answer, and that he has to be mine. Or should I just keep doing what I was doing? Or maybe try to fall in love with someone else? Perhaps go on dates? I can't help it. I seriously don't regret any of what I've done. I can't fake repentance. But I feel I do love him. I want him back and I'd like to start fresh. I could be faithful to him if I had him for real this time." She spoke hurriedly as if she was talking to herself only, considering her options.

"Anna, do you honestly believe I have an answer to any of these questions? This is something only you will be able to evaluate. But if you want him back, and want to prove to him you could be his girlfriend without lies and cheating, for starters, I don't think we should see each other… er… privately…"

"I didn't cheat on him!" She interrupted me. "We weren't officially together."

"I never got how exactly you broke up with him if you kept doing him all the time." I said accusingly, with a hint of jealousy in my voice. It caught me by surprise.

"Well, I told him I wanted to explore my new possibilities, go out with other guys if I had to and that he was free to do what he pleased as well. It sounds funny now, as if he wasn't already doing ANYONE he pleased before I authorized him." She sighed heavily. What a mess these two! I didn't know they had agreed on that. "But hey, why are you saying that? Why would it bother you?"

"Well, nothing, it's just that… never mind." Phew! That was a close one. I don't have feelings for her, or do I? No, I don't! I'm 99% positive I don't!

"Anyways, thanks for talking to me. Come to think of it, I even hate him a bit now…." She blinked. Of course, she didn't. "Talking to you definitely helped. At least I got it all out of my chest. I desperately needed it." But just as she was about to leave, in a silly move, I held the door shut. She stared at me with a puzzled frown. "What…" And I kissed her. As of now, I'm still at loss for words as to why I did that. Wasn't I glad that our fling would finally be over?

The taste of her lips is heavenly. I kissed her again and again. Just as she threw her arms around my neck, I held her in mine and pinned her against the wall. Now I'm officially the bad guy. For the first time, I was the only one to blame. She didn't try to seduce me, I took the initiative this time. What was I to do? All of a sudden, desire consumed me and I had to have her. The way she reaches orgasms again and again, so easily, drives me crazy. That's the fantasy of every guy. Who doesn't want to give their lady the ultimate pleasure? She's so sensitive to touch, she probably has no idea she's that good at it. I wonder if Gambit has ever told her that. After it was over, she started crying again. I hugged her tight, caressed her hair until she stopped sobbing. She gave me a tiny smile and left me without a word.

And there go my hopes of being a faithful husband ever again.

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I cannot believe Logan! I'm going to hit him so hard across his face, give him an earful like it's nobody's business. What in the world was he thinking when he opened his big mouth and had Remy learn all about Rogue's revenge? Just when they were rekindling their romance, she would leave my man the fuck alone, and we would be back to what we were. Simple and easy as that.

I had specifically asked him to help me out with that and if he did, as a thank you, I promised him we'd have a one-night stand. But I was just teasing him. I was not really considering going ahead with that. Ok, I wanted to make Scott pay me back. If he could fuck someone else, then so could I. But I just didn't have the guts to actually do it.

Logan and I had arranged to meet outside the mansion, in a diner in Central New York, well away from the curious eyes of our team members. When I arrived I instantly spotted him, even though he was looking like someone else. Grumpy Wolvie was nowhere to be seen. He was actually looking like a perfect gentleman, which I know very well he isn't. He was all groomed, looked around expectantly until our eye met. I couldn't help but have warm feelings towards him. I flashed him my best and sincerest smile. Poor him, he is truly in love with me. I could sense his thoughts. It must be awful to be in his shoes, he knows I'm never going to be his, I am Scott's. But should I still be his?

"Hey, Redhead!" He waved at me. Now there's no going back.

"Hello Logan, and don't you red-head me! I'm furious at you. How could you? Instead of helping me as I'd asked you, you made things a whole lot worse for me. If Gambit and Rogue got back together as it seemed they were going to, there were no longer going to be afternoon encounters with my husband. Now you've practically thrown her in his arms! It will be a matter of time until she feels lonely and looks for sex elsewhere. She most definitely won't go celibate because of her broken heart. Damn you, Wolverine!"

"I'm sorry, truly sorry for them and ok, sorry for you two. I didn't plan any of that. If only they'd arrive on time, I wouldn't have had time to have so much booze and get so clueless. Now Rogue won't even talk to me." It seemed he genuinely regretted what he'd done.

"Yeah, you screwed up big time. If Remy is not here, she's not talking to you, guess who she's going to turn to for support? I'm sure it's going to start all over again. " I said angrily.

He ignored what I just said and held the hand I had rested on the table in both of his. He did it oh so gently. He carefully read my reactions.

"Jean, don't get me wrong, but why do you want to maintain a relationship like this at any cost? He's obviously distracted and his disrespectful behavior towards you is unacceptable. I think you deserve better than that." He spoke gently while rubbing my hand softly.

His never-before-seen flirtatious manners caught me off guard. The sweet talk that followed, the way he looked at me adoringly, laughing wholeheartedly at anything I said, it made my heart melt inside. I forgot how good it is being loved. I indulged in his attention. Those little seduction attempts of his were so exciting! I don't even remember the time when Scott and I were playing those love games before we became a couple. We were so young, he may have written me a couple of sweet notes, I don't remember very well how it all started.

The afternoon was all ours and about us. Not for even a second did my mind go back to Anna and Scott. Screw them! I was having fun, for the first time in what seemed to be a long time. We talked, laughed at silly things and when we were about to go home, he kissed me and I didn't say no.

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A knock on my door this late at night. Who can it possibly be? I was startled as I was having one of those nightmares. This time I was under a rubble.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, mon amie."

I opened the door with a sigh. As expected, he didn't wait for me to invite him in. He hugged me tightly and said. "Mon amie, I need you tonight. Please, please say you can lend me your shoulder. I'm battered. I need someone to tell me it's going to be alright."

"What now, Remy? I've always told you this was a bad idea. I told you from the start! Leave the girl alone. Poor thing was trouble… and back in the day, when I said that, I never imagined she could be this kind of trouble. I love her, she's my friend too, but you and her… nope, too much baggage the two of you. Anyways, what's so different today from all the other days?" I hate to be right on this, but he should've listened to me. I really hoped there would be a different ending to their story, but it was written on the wall.

Ever since I realized how dark it was all getting, I just couldn't be around them. The whole episode made me sick to my stomach. I'm completely against all of what they'd done. You don't hurt the one you love, you don't sleep with someone else when you're in love. How can they even call it love? I know I was very judgemental, but I stand my ground. I'm a true friend and true friend sometimes won't support your decisions, simply because they care enough. I cared, I warned, none of them listened to me, so I stepped back.

I tried to talk Xavier into taking some drastic measure, like expelling one of them or something like that. Not permanently, just as a wakeup call. But Xavier is pro giving people free will, he would never force anyone to do whatever it was. He told me that as disturbing as it could be to us, they were adults and they should be able to make their own choices. I disagree with him. I think we omitted ourselves by not interfering at all. When Rogue pulled Scott into the mess, well, that was it for me. She went too far over the line. There were also the students. For all I know, Jubilee could wake in on them at any minute. They are hardly setting a good example for our pupils. I just couldn't stay here and watch all that mess going on. I volunteered to go on a recruiting mission, taking Jubilee with me so she could act as propaganda of what our institution can do for youngsters, and also to keep her away from that chaos. We'd just come back that evening.

"I have just ended it." He continued. I was taken by surprise, he never said he'd end it before. Even though I had advised him to do it again and again.

"You haven't!" I couldn't believe him.

"I have, mon amie. I'd been thinking about it after the last time I talked to you. Everything you said made sense. I can't let her or anyone else treat me like that. But she was acting so cool the last few days. She was so nice to me, like my old time loving sweetheart. Also, I knew she hasn't seen Scott lately. It was as if someone possessed her psyche and she was suddenly back to normal."

"So why did you…?"

"Because I learned why she did what she did." He interrupted me with sadness in his voice.

"Can I ask you what could possibly cause her to change so much?"

"She did it all to get back at me. She wanted to hurt me! Wolverine let the cat out of the bag when we were at the bar. She'd planned to hook up with other guys in my presence, to hurt and humiliate me and she shared her plan that with him. That was pure evil of hers to do that, don't you think?"

I preferred not to fuel his anger and didn't answer his question one way or another. "Do you know why she wanted to hurt you?" I asked. I know I sounded patronizing, but these kids just have to learn a lesson.

"Because I cheated on her when she couldn't touch me." So that was why. Obviously! I knew it!

"I hate to be the one who says I told you so. But I did tell you so." I didn't think she would do exactly what she did, but I knew he would break her heart. And I warned him. Many times, indeed. He just wouldn't listen.

"Ororo, I didn't come here for judgment. I need your help." He lowered his head. Oh pity, I had plenty to say, but he grew rather impatient at my previous remark. "I don't know what to do. But one thing I know, if I stay here, I'll either go crazy or end up giving in and going back to being her puppy. I don't want that." He paused and gave me a hug. He kept me locked inside his arms and spoke in my ears with a hoarse voice. "Ororo, you're the one who brought me here, you're my best friend, I was wondering if there's anyone you know who could use me, help out on anything, I don't know… I'm lost." That was a hard one he was asking me. I feared that wherever I sent him, trouble would find him. He will inevitably look for rebound love and will hurt more hearts in the process. I really hope he won't resort to drinking like she did.

"Remy, my dear friend, why don't you go back to your southern roots? Spend some time with your family, maybe you can help them with the Guild for a while and when you feel ready, you come back, er… that is if… er… do you still want to be an X-Men?"

"Of course, I do, Ororo."

We kept talking until five in the morning. There was so much to catch up with. Lastly, he left my room but not before I promised to keep in touch. He said he wanted to know how she's doing… That'll be hardly a detox trip if he keeps checking on her, will it? Oh dear! If only these two had listened to me.


	10. Chapter 10

I threw a careless glance at the lady lying fast asleep on my bed and lit up a cigarette. It got me thinking about how pointless my feeble attempts at forgetting her are. After another night of binge drinking with the boys, hearing them discuss the Guild's issues, then choosing my prey for the night, I felt so bored… it's getting old already and it hasn't been even a month since I came here yet. I just want to go back to the mansion. Storm doesn't tell me much about what's going on there and I'm sure as hell they have been on some mission for I couldn't reach storm for a solid week. And you know what? This time away from the mansion hasn't done anything for me at all. She's all I think about from when I wake up in the afternoon till I pass out in the early morning hours.

This trip has been nothing but unfruitful to me. My body is out of proper training and I feel so old here. All these old memories this place brings, not mention the possibility of bumping into Bella Donna at any time. They say she's still very resentful and talks about me leaving her at the altar as if it all happened a week ago. But it's been 10 years. I really don't want to have to deal with her right now. Coming to New Orleans after breaking it off with Rogue must've been the worst advice Storm has ever given me.

Thinking of Bella Donna reminded me of ma petite's question: "Do you think it's possible for anyone to love more than one person in their lifetime, like having more than one 'love of my life'?" That beautiful voice that I have grown to love me so much, the voice that once brought me back from the dead in their hearts kept ringing inside my head. Like in a movie, a close up of her luscious lips saying 'love of my life' played in slow motion. And it played on repeat, over and over again. Was Anna the love of my life? Did she think of me as the love of her life? That's what she's implied anyway. Have I ever thought of Belle as the one, my one true love? I don't think so, I guess Bella Donna was one of those girls I really liked. Or thought I did when we were together. But I knew she was not the one, and that's why I left her at the altar. I could have always taken her away with me, couldn't I?

I know it makes me sounds like a complete scumbag, but if you knew about her and her family, you'd understand my reasons. But of course, if she'd made my heart sing like Anna Marie does, well, I'd be willing to walk down that aisle and ignore all obstacles. So yes, I came to the sad conclusion, that maybe she had a point there. Rogue was my one and only love of my life. Sadly, I'm definitely sure that no one else will top that.

I quickly checked on the lady again, she was still sleeping soundly. I fetched myself a half-empty vodka bottle that laid carelessly on the floor and started drinking from it and allowed myself to daydream of her one more time. I played our first night in my head yet another time. I took her on a date to celebrate her conquering her freedom, controlling her powers. Funny thing, the beginning of our touching started in a car and ended the same way. I parked the car, then looked at her. She smiled shyly at me. I'm no telepath but I know her well enough to know she was feeling tense. I bent over and kissed her. I kissed her full on her mouth and in a swift move, she jumped to my lap. I remember hugging her tightly and kissing her neck up and down for the very first time. And oh and the way she moaned and growled low in my ear. I cupped her breasts in my hands and slowly freed them from their garment imprisonment. I kissed, nibbled, licked them sensually. Delaying kissing her nipple as much as I possibly could bring myself to, I felt the anticipation aroused her. When I finally did kiss each of her nipples, I distinctly remember my heart ache with love and excitement when I realized her breathing had quickened and her moaning intensified. I knew what that meant, she was about to come for me. And she did, she squeezed my arms as she did so and I could feel her whole body quivering with pleasure. I hadn't even undressed or her, that thought made me chuckle. She was smoking hot, always found pleasure so easily… She's so sensitive to touch.

"Sugar, what was that?" I remember her saying after her breathing finally slowed down. "That has got to be the best thing ever."

I felt a bit shy, me of all people, having to tell her the obvious fact. Well, obvious to me anyway. "Cherie, I think you… you had an orgasm, you know?"

"No, I don't." She whispered.

"Ma petite, didn't you use to touch yourself?" I remember I couldn't help asking her that. She blushed all shades of red. 

"Nah, I always avoided everything that could make me long for physical loving, so… I don't remember ever feeling this way…" Her head hung low with embarrassment.

"Come with me, mon amour. I'll show you how much greater this can get." And I took her in my arms to my bedroom where we made love passionately all through that night.

I was reliving those precious moments yet again when the forgettable girl woke up. And that's how far my daydreaming went. I threw the bottle back on the floor where it belonged and walked the girl out of my room, out of my life. It's decided, I'm going back.

….

I heard a knock on my door in the middle of the night. I had been fast asleep and got extremely annoyed at that. It was not the first time it happened. He's got some nerve coming here yet again.

The first time he came over, I said no, the second time, I sent him back to her again. But the third time, I succumbed. I was so vulnerable that day, feeling so lonely, I could do with some steamy sex to cheer me up. And so we did it. And because of that silly mistake, there he was standing by my door again, grinning from ear to ear. He's completely lost any sense of respect.

"What are you DOING here?" I asked him.

"I'm here… for you."

"Have you completely lost it? Are you insane? It used to be the other way around, right? Me knocking on your door, but you see, I guess I had given you all the signs that I don't wanna do this anymore. "

"Well, last time it seemed that you wanted a lot more." I sighed in discontent. Did he have to go there? Oh of course he did. He couldn't just take no for an answer. Would he keep coming until I gave up hope and said yes to him again?

"Scott, I… I… listen, it's over. It was fun for some time, but now that he's not around, and took my heart away with him, part of the fun is gone. Now I see it was all a big mistake. Besides, where the hell is Jean? Have you lost all respect for her?"

"She sleeps heavily. She doesn't notice when I leave the room."

"Well, that's what you think. Don't you think this is getting out of hand? At first, I was the one teasing you. Now I have totally left you alone and you… that's when you decide to chase me around."

"I got addicted to you. There, said it! I can't get you… and your sweaty naked body out of my head." I shrugged at those words, and probably blushed crimson.

"Scott, please… I'm sorry but no. I'm broken-hearted, sex is not helping me. I'd rather be alone for a while."

"Would it help it if I called you 'chére'? I could do that." He said with a sneer. And that's when I slapped his face hard. So hard it made him step backward. Noticing how hard I'd landed my hand on his face, I touched his arm and apologized, but he shook his arm away from me. He touched his glasses frames as to put them back in place. Just as I thought he was about to leave, he turned around, and in a swift move placed his hands in the small of my back, pulled me close to him and crashed his lips against mine. At that very moment, I felt my powers kicking in. His kiss was uninvited, I read it as an aggression and before I could notice or do anything about it I was sucking his life out of him. I released him as soon as I felt the pull, luckily for him. He fell to the ground and I blasted my own bedroom door.

"Keep your eyes shut." He managed to groan.

At this point, I was invaded by his memories and thoughts. And oh boy, was he in love with me! What a terrible mess we were in! And I'm not talking about the wrecked door.

….

After the recent episode, I reckon Storm was right all along. I should have interfered somehow. I should have taken some disciplinary action, but I couldn't find it in me to do so. I felt that it would feel like meddling with their personal lives which I don't think is my place to do.

When I founded this school for gifted youngsters my main goal was to reach out to young mutants and help mold them into responsible mutants who only used their powers for the benefits of all mankind. By doing so, I would enable them to promote a pacific coexistence between humans and mutants.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I'd have to deal with the kind of problems sitting on my hands right now. Two of my most valued X-Men were sitting at my table waiting for a crisis meeting, crisis which they both brought upon themselves. So much for my dream of peaceful coexistence! My x-men can't even keep themselves from intrigue and discord.

I should be at ease with our meeting given that I can sense their feelings, I know what they expect to hear from me, I know them well enough to anticipate their reactions, but still, I feel so restless. I just don't know how to approach the issues that have to be dealt with. And most importantly, I can't help but feel disappointed at them, especially at Scott whom I always considered being a born leader, the one who could easily substitute me in the future.

Cyclops stared blankly at me while Rogue seemed uncomfortable in her chair. I decided to put an end to their misery and speak my mind at once.

"Dear Anna and Scott, I think you both know why you are here."

"I don't." Anna said half-jokingly.

"Will you let the professor speak?" Scott asked her without looking at her, still staring at me without showing much emotion. Only I know what he was feeling at that moment.

"Well, if the two of you will allow me to continue" I cleared my throat. This was it. "I vowed not to get involved in the situation you have going on, but I guess I should have for things reached a point where lots of other things are at stake. If you two and also other X-Men subsequently involved, like Jean, Gambit, and Wolverine can't work as a team as you normally would, I feel I have to urge you to think about what you're doing."

"Professor, problem is, we were not…er… doing what we were doing anymore, then Scott here decides I have to be his mistress whether I want it or not, goes to my bedroom to disturb me, my body reacts as it's always done for so long… I didn't plan any of that, obviously, but he took me by surprise and I didn't have time to prevent my powers from kicking in. It's all in my mind, you know. He caught me off guard. I apologize for busting X-Mansion property, but not for reacting the way I did. He got what he deserved!"

"Don't be cynical, Anna. Just a week earlier you were in bed with me at that very same setting. I thought you were playing hard to get just for having fun."

"Oh really, did you? Well, you thought wrong!"

"Enough! Please, enough with the bickering. I just want to urge you to consider your actions better because there are bigger implications than you might think. There's the team performance, there are other people's lives, and your own safety when in the battlefield. You are too distracted."

"Professor, you can count on me. I wanted to end it but Scott here has ideas of his own."

"You talk like you were not the one who started it all to begin with."

Oh dear! And there they went again. I just wanted to be somewhere else, not having to have that conversation and most importantly, I didn't want to be able to feel the sexual tension between them. Their arguing went on for a little while until I decided I didn't want to witness that anymore and removed myself from that situation.

"Very well, I think I have conveyed my message clearly. I sincerely hope you will consider what I said. For the sake of all of us, please, I urge you to break it off or do things the right way. Scott, if you have to break the news to Jean, do. Be honest, I never thought I'd have to ask you that. But just be true to your wife. Wolverine being pulled into the mess is not to my liking. We never know how he can react if he gets broken-hearted."

"Wolverine? What does he have to do with any of this?"

"He doesn't know!" And Rogue, who was behaving quite well until now, let out a strident laugh. "You don't know, do you sugar?"

"What do I not know?"

"I guess I must have read your feelings of animosity against Wolverine in a wrong way. I thought you knew. Well anyway, Rogue, I guess I should also let you know that Gambit is coming back to the mansion in a…"

"Is he?" She said dramatically placing her both hands on her chest.

"Yes, he said he really misses being a full-time X-Men. Things didn't go quite as he'd wished in New Orleans."

"Oh!" She gasped.

"What do I not know about Wolverine?" Not willing to say anything about Jean and Logan, Rogue and I agreed mentally to embark on some meaningless conversation as we started to leave the room. We managed to get out of that one.

…

He's coming back! He's coming back! How am I supposed to think of anything else? Who cares about Scott and me absorbing his powers and everyone knowing what he was up to in my bedroom late at night? I don't! Even if we'll not be a couple anymore, I need to see him. I need to be able to talk to him when I need to. Storm is a great friend but she just doesn't listen to me all the time. She acts more like a mom would. I desperately need his understanding. I need him to go ahead and jump off a cliff if that's what I want to do. I miss Remy. I miss my friend, ok and lover, Remy.


End file.
